Negative Beliefs About Sexuality And Aging Advertisement Our mindset around sex as we age has a huge impact on our sex lives.
“Sex in your 50s is often more connected and comfortable with less performance anxiety and sexual hangups from the past.
If vaginal penetration is too painful, other activities, such as oral sex or using sex toys, might feel more enjoyable.
It’s worth noting that many women go through menopause without “any real issues,” Siegel said, “other than a sense of liberation from the chance of getting pregnant.” 3.
Erection And Ejaculation Challenges As men age, things change in the erection department — and that’s normal.
1/1 Skip Ad Go to Advertiser website GO TO PAGE Continue watching after the advertisement.
Because of the ageist culture that links sex to youth, you might think that once you reach a certain age, the romance in the bedroom ends. That isn’t always the case, though.
According to a 2019 survey, 43 percent of Americans over 50 say their sexual lives are “just as or more adventurous” than they were when they were younger. 35 percent of respondents in this age group say they have more sex drive now than they did when they were younger, according to a different 2021 survey.
However, as we age, our bodies and lives change, which can also lead to some changes in the bedroom.
Lawrence Siegel, a clinical sexologist and sexuality educator, told HuffPost, “It is very important to note, however, that while changes in sexual feeling and function as we age are normal, problems are not, though we sometimes assume they are.”.
Keep on watching.
Why Being Single Is a Good Thing: Discovering Happiness in Silence.
We must set new standards for ourselves as we age, changing our expectations over time.
“A person who is 55 years old shouldn’t be attempting to sustain the same level of interest or endurance as someone who is 25 years old,” Siegel stated. When we’re younger, things seem to happen on their own, but as we age, we need to put in more effort and be more conscious of them. “”.
In order to achieve this, we asked Siegel and other sex therapists what problems people typically have in the bedroom during this stage of life and how to deal with them.
1. Negative attitudes regarding aging and sexuality.
Our sexual lives are significantly impacted by the way we think about sex as we get older. Additionally, psychotherapist and sex therapist Nan Wise stated that negative beliefs in this area are a “much bigger problem than most people realize.”.
As we grow older, we must dispel some of the more harmful myths and false beliefs regarding our sexuality. Indeed, hormonal changes can have a detrimental effect on us as our bodies adapt to the passing of time, but this is made much worse by societal stigmas associated with sex in general and, more so, with sex as people age, Wise, author of “Why Good Sex Matters,” told HuffPost.
Individuals in their fifties must “get past the societal stigma that they are less sexual due to their age,” according to sex therapist and psychologist Shannon Chavez. Many individuals in this age group have better sex now than they did when they were younger, according to her practice.
She told HuffPost, “They are more clear on what they want and how to express it.”. “Having sex in your 50s is frequently more comfortable and connected, with fewer sexual hangups and performance anxiety. The majority of individuals in this age range are more self-assured, have the experience to know what they want, and are capable of being far more assertive with a partner. “”.
2. . dryness in the vagina.
During menopause, estrogen levels decline, which can lead to vaginal dryness and affect sexual functioning. About half of postmenopausal women are thought to suffer from this illness.
According to Siegel, “this can lead to painful or uncomfortable sexual experiences for some, which is why all women over 50 should have a good lube on hand.”.
It might also be beneficial to increase foreplay. Increased vaginal lubrication brought on by increased arousal can enhance the pleasure of sex. Other activities like oral sex or using sex toys might feel more pleasurable if vaginal penetration is too painful.
Siegel pointed out that many women experience menopause with “no real issues,” aside from feeling freed from the possibility of becoming pregnant. “”.
3. Difficulties with Ejaculation and Erection.
It’s normal for men’s erections to change as they get older.
Siegel stated, “They will not have the same types of reflexive or spontaneous erections the way they used to.”. In order to achieve or sustain an erection, they will discover that they might require more and different types of stimulation. They might also discover that their erections are not as strong or hard as they once were. “”.
Periodically experiencing difficulties with erection is not uncommon. However, if you frequently attempt to have sex but are unable to achieve or maintain an erection, you may be suffering from erectile dysfunction. Consult your physician because this might indicate an underlying medical issue.
According to Siegel, additionally, the amount of ejaculate and the force with which it is expelled might be “much less” than what they are used to.
When we’re younger, things seem to happen on their own, but as we age, we need to put in more effort and be more conscious of them. “.”.
According to Wise, men are taught that their sexual vitality “depends on the performance of their penises in an unwaveringly consistent manner,” which can be “a recipe for problems as men age.”. “.”.
She added, “It is also among the most prevalent problems that affect erectile dysfunction.”. “Erectile dysfunction affects even young men because they are too focused on their penises when making love.”. “”.
According to Siegel, reducing performance pressure and altering the original purpose of sex are the most crucial steps in overcoming this.
He stated, “If we approach sexual encounters with the idea that we are simply wanting to share this pleasurable experience, and if ejaculation occurs, great; if it doesn’t, it can still be sharing a great, pleasurable experience.”. “If we view orgasm as a pleasant byproduct of sharing pleasure rather than as a goal, we can achieve much greater intimacy and erotic experiences. “.”.
4. Diminished arousal.
Decreased libido can be caused by a number of factors, including stress, physical and mental health conditions, adverse drug reactions, and deteriorating hormone levels.
“Dealing with changes in their physical body and energy levels which can lead to low desire” is a common problem for people in their 50s, according to Chavez, who also noted that menopause and other hormonal changes are common during this time. “The hormonal changes can have an impact on mental health, including mood swings and fatigue, in addition to physiology and sexual desire,” Chavez continued.
In order to examine how to balance your hormones and lessen undesirable symptoms, she recommended getting a hormone panel.
“With the proper support, most hormonal changes are very manageable,” she stated.
Having less interest in sex as we get older is “quite normal,” according to Siegel.
He stated that hormone replacement treatment might be suitable for certain individuals.
More naturalistic practices, such as yoga, meditation, and supplements, may be beneficial for others. “.”.
In addition to making you happier and healthier overall, finding ways to reduce stress may increase your desire for sex. Wise, for instance, suggests breathing techniques every day in order to “access the healing power of the parasympathetic’restorative’ state.”. “.”.
She claimed that because most of us spend most of our time in “fight-or-flight,” the body releases stress hormones that shouldn’t be present in such high concentrations. In addition to impairing our sense of wellbeing, this ongoing hormonal stress can also interfere with our sex drives. “.”.
Spend five minutes on this exercise once or twice a day. First, locate a peaceful area to sit and, according to Wise, “grant yourself permission to be exactly as you are and for the moment to be exactly as it is.”. This is sometimes referred to as radical acceptance.
She said, “You can release and soften a lot of the stress we accumulate when we resist what is by allowing yourself to start from where you are.”.
After that, inhale deeply and smoothly through your nose for a long time, and then exhale gently.
Wise stated that “your brilliant body shifts your nervous system into the restorative mode, your heart slows down, and your stress hormones decrease when you make your exhalation longer than the inhalation.”.
According to Wise, “you might discover that this easy exercise turns into a fantastic new routine that improves general wellbeing and helps you connect with your passion for life — both in and out of the bedroom.”. “Remember, enjoyment is not a luxury. A healthy body and mind are essential for living a fulfilling life.
