I’m Considering Asking My Female Friend to Do Something Many Women Would Never Agree To

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To How to Do It, please.

I am gay, but my conservative Southern family does not know it. In a month, my younger sister will tie the knot. Every time I’ve attended a family gathering in the past few years (since I graduated from college), someone has attempted to pair me up with a qualified friend’s daughter, niece, granddaughter, etc. I am really close to a friend of mine named “Desiree.”. To avoid having to deal with the barrage of offers from relatives who are interested in making matches, is it okay to ask her to go with me and serve as my beard?

—I am bitter about returning to the South.

Dear Sour, I’m heading back down south.

Being gay in Trump’s America—especially this version of it—is difficult enough, so I totally get your wish to make things easier. Even though it would be perfect if everyone went out without any reservations, that is simply not the case. Family ties, which many of us wish to maintain regardless of our political beliefs, complicate this issue. You are actively making this decision and currently feel compelled to do it, so I don’t think it’s appropriate to criticize you for keeping your family close. I am not envious of you. It is a terrible burden to have to compromise your personhood in order to maintain a relationship with someone you care about.

Having said that, I believe your motivations for enlisting Desiree in this are a little slender. I can see how it fits into the larger scheme of the lies you believe are necessary to be with your family, but at the very least, I wouldn’t put this in front of her as a way to protect you from having to accept partner offers. Those are microaggressions, even though they are bothersome and offensive. The main point of this request is that you aren’t going out with your family for the right reasons, and going on a date would help you deal with that. Moreover, don’t ask Desiree to be your “beard.”. The word “date” is sufficient. You don’t need to give your family many details about why she is with you; the mandated heterosexuality that governs your family’s operations will suffice and enable them to conclude that the woman is at least a potential romantic partner. Learn how to remain evasive when people inquire about the specifics of the partnership (“We’re taking things slowly”).

Naturally, all of this is meaningless if Desiree is unwilling to participate in this charade. Tell her what’s going on if she doesn’t know. Establish limits and allow her to ask questions. Be ready for her to say no to your request; if she does, don’t take it personally. It could be interpreted as rude or burdensome. Make the journey or experience as comfortable as you can and, if she consents, give her a lovely gift as a token of appreciation.

Greetings, How to Do It.

I am dreading summer because my wife won’t give me blow jobs, which I adore, when it’s hot outside and my balls start to smell. I’ve tried a lot of deodorants, but none of them really cover up the smell. What am I able to do?

—Weary of Finding Head Only Half the Year.

Dear, I’m sick of only getting head time half the year.

It rarely fails to make me laugh to see the difference between straight and queer problems, not to make fun of your wife’s olfactory pain or your own misery. Male B is highly valued. Okay. In many gay communities, there are men who would pay to indulge in your ball scent. The higher the ranking. This is merely a random observation with no real-world application, though, as the advice to “get yourself a piggy cocksucker” isn’t very realistic. Not only are people unique, but isn’t that a fascinating scene?

There are a few things to try here in addition to deodorants. Odor tends to stick to your pubic or ball hair, so shaving it off might help. Although it’s probably not the best option, it might work; you might have to decide between blowjobs and pubes. You could try using baby powder or other powders as well. They can occasionally outperform traditional deodorant. Would it be beneficial to wash before having sex? Perhaps your smell can be tolerated with just bar soap, but if you haven’t tried, it seems obvious. You can also schedule sex to take place when you smell your best. Therefore, maybe in the morning (again, after a rinse) rather than after a long day at the gym or at work. Furthermore, you should be aware that certain conditions, such as yeast infections, non-gonococcal urethritis, and balanitis, can cause genital odor. Crotch odor can be caused by certain medications and even diet. I would go to a doctor and ask if everything is okay, even if it’s none of the above. A general practitioner or even a dermatologist might be the most helpful.

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How to Do It, dear.

I have never been a fan of giving men blow jobs, but since most men like and anticipate it, I want to figure out how to get over my dislike. How would you advise someone who needs to learn?

—Somewhere You Have to Start.

Gotta Start Somewhere, dear.

See if the psychological side of giving head can bring you joy. It can be very satisfying to give pleasure in this way, especially to someone who truly enjoys it. You may experience a sense of empowerment because you are. You have the power to not only make someone feel good with your mouth, but also to make them feel awful by making small changes, like showing your teeth. In other words, a person exposes himself when he gives you this level of access to his dick. The way he expresses that through his words, sighs, and moans is something I adore. Getting to the gooey middle of men, especially those who present as masculine, is part of the fun of having sex with them.

Some people may find blowjobs unpleasant from a mechanical standpoint. Not all people have learned to suppress their gag reflex. The recipient might be picky or even demanding, asking for a level of intimacy that the giver finds awkward or unattainable. The receiver may occasionally find the requested tempo to be too quick. Despite the fact that effort is not a bad thing in bed, feeling like you’ve been given work can depress the mood. All of this can really highlight the job job. The goal of good oral tops is to make their blower as comfortable as possible. It could be difficult for some because they have strong preferences or requirements regarding depth, speed, and friction. True connoisseurs, on the other hand, are the best guys to suck because they genuinely enjoy getting head in almost any form. The ideal partner to teach you the value of giving head is one like that. If you’re using apps to look for a partner, you might find one by chance or at the very least, take the temperature. In the end, I believe that this will be crucial.

But be aware that you have a lot of agency, no matter what your partner asks for. Pace, position, and pressure should all be adjusted to suit your preferences when sucking on the dick. Anything that causes you to feel uncomfortable, either mentally or physically, should be avoided. To do that, ask your partner if you can just enjoy him. If fantasizing during the act helps you get into the mood, don’t be scared to do it. Although I believe that giving head is somewhat meditative and helps you stay present, there is nothing wrong with using some mental imagery when necessary. Not everyone is cut out for giving head, and you are not required to love it. Still, it’s worth a try. Or a couple of shots. ).

—Rich.

More Slate Advice.

Although my wife and I don’t have sex very often, our encounters can be passionate. My wife frequently orgasms—sometimes more than once—but she always reacts strangely afterward. She sometimes breaks down in tears and has what appears to be an emotional breakdown. What is happening here?